It’s time to bring back your favourite series on Kpopalypse dot com and that’s Kpopalypse Nugu Alert! Well, okay, that’s a lie, in fact this is one of the least popular of all the series I’ve ever done and you probably won’t even read this, but that sure as hell hasn’t stopped me from writing a while 75 episodes of it, so here’s yet another one! This isn’t one of those places that pretends anything not on the A-list is nugu, so if you’re one of the chosen few who enjoys extreme nuguness, read on and enjoy!
This episode of Kpopalypse is dedicated to co-ed groups. For those newcomers to k-pop who may be unaware of the arbitrarily strange nature of k-idol shenanigans, a co-ed group is an idol group that has both male and female performers, which is generally a rarity in the Korean pop scene. Believe it or not, nobody outside of the Korean pop world even uses the phrase ‘co-ed groups’ at all, and that’s because people who aren’t into this bullshit Korean idol music that gets written about on this site actually have a brain and thus they don’t find men and women being together in the same group to be all that notable or worth putting a label on. However in a scene such as k-pop where it’s all about selling you the person and the music is just along for the ride, everything changes because everyone’s brain is on drugs (mainly dopamine) and suddenly everyone gives very much of a fuck about who in the group has man or lady parts. Hence this post to draw you attention to the fact that many groups like this in fact exist, and the only reason why you don’t know about a lot of them is that marketing often isn’t their strong suit. Given how much of a marketing faux pas it is to have a co-ed group exist at all in the Korean idol scene in the first place, it only makes sense. Of course Kpopalypse doesn’t really care about things like marketing, only about music and nugus, so let’s check out some co-ed groups that you’ve probably never heard of and see what they have to offer!
Usual Kpopalypse Nugu Alert criteria are in effect for this post!
- Less than 20,000 views on official channels
- ChatGPT probably wouldn’t include these groups in a list of top ten Korean pop groups you should look out for in the next six months
- Relevant to Kpopalypse
Let’s do it!
Fairies – Spring Up To You
I know what you’re thinking, and I’m thinking it too – vertical mobile format screen videos are a pain in the fucking ass. We all hate them. However given that this group is nugu as fuck, and their video otherwise actually looks pretty good, it makes sense that they may have only had budget left to fill about 30% of the available screen space once all their other expenses were paid for. We don’t want these unheard-of groups breaking the bank now, that benefits nobody, least of all themselves when the expenses then get added onto their trainee debt. The song itself is actually decent too, at least until the thuddingly awful trap/drop/whatever thing at 1:07 that apparently we are required to have for some reason, I guess it’s to give the boys in the group something to do besides lazily talk over the chorus. Overall it works most of the time, and even the obligatory CGI isn’t too out of place or shameful. Recommended.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 7186
Notable attribute: he must have messed up the recovery from the flip at 2:40 because they edit it just after he lands, he also doesn’t dare attempt this same madness live without editing which is probably just as well
Nugu Alert rating: high
Meringue Cookie – Sweety
Everybody got very excited recently when new laws to protect underage performers in k-pop were recently passed, I presume that these laws are now in effect and that we can now watch “youth k-pop groups” with the confidence that they are not being abused and treated like shit by staff. Mind you, I’ve actually been on music video sets and I can tell you that shooting a music video is not very much fun even for adults and even under ideal ultra-respectful conditions, so I still feel pretty sorry for these boys and girls who had to twirl, smile and point on cue in front of that polygon gorilla a shitload of times. It’s actually pretty unpleasant work and even the most basic of video shoots take all fucking day and night, here’s hoping they had the budget to spread this one out over the multiple days it would have taken but I doubt it. At least the music is passable enough even if everyone here should be ten years older and the creative directors should be put on a watch list.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 2384
Notable attribute: if you think nothing looks wrong, pay close attention at 1:58, during the baking scene no less. Where are their parents? Did they green-light this or did the creative director just sneak it in there? It’s like a co-ed Little PSY…
Nugu Alert rating: very high
To.NT – To.NT
To.NT (which is a hassle to type so I’ll just call them “Tont” from now on) come across a bit like Kard on a very extreme budget, at least in the first half of this song, which is pretty dreary and is the usual downbeat almost-tropical dirging. Then suddenly things change up at 1:28 and normally that would be annoying because haven’t we all had enough NMIXXing in our lives recently, but in this case it’s fine because it’s actually a vast improvement and the song kind of stops sucking so much from that point (apart from the obligatory trap/drop/whatever thing). Tont don’t sound too bad overall and don’t look embarrassing either, even if the sets are just random-ass messing around in the resort district and the denim overalls look a bit ill-fitting, I mean men really need to be built like Kard’s BM for that sort of one-strap thing, I don’t think this guy is going to take his place in the objectification survey anytime soon. Still, full marks for effort and ambition
Youtube views at the time of writing: 1985
Notable attribute: wannabe idols eating food in a video and actually getting to swallow it at 2:20, they’re already one step in front of many groups on the A-list…
Nugu Alert rating: very high
Danzzan – Have It? No No!
While this episode of Kpopalypse Nugu Alert isn’t based around song quality, none of the songs are absolutely terrible this time around, and Danzzan actually have a pretty decent one for the most part, that’s as good as anything else here in its best moments. Of course there’s a rubbish rap break (of course) and there’s something a bit funny going on in the pre-chorus (usual random major scale notes shoehorned over minor-key melody/harmony for no clear reason), but apart from that it moves along pretty well. There’s also some neat visual ideas, the “diagonal lines on the ground” and “singing through random plumbing” bits at the start are indeed pretty cool, it’s a shame that the shots of all four of them standing like statues in the chorus just look weird, instead of… well, whatever the hell they were going for, but I’m pretty sure ‘weird’ wasn’t it, or maybe it was, I don’t know. Anyway they’re pretty cool and this song is a solid try, being a self-described “vocal group” they actually can sing too, so if you’re into that you could check out their channel where they have a bunch of covers and stuff, you’re welcome.
Youtube views at the time of writing: 733
Notable attribute: the girl at 1:22 really doesn’t want the other girl touching the red pipe, but I have no idea why?
Nugu Alert rating: extreme
